You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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