dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
