Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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