the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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