Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
