Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
