Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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