I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.