One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point