You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
