member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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