So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They took my balls.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
