Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
