just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
