Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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