i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
