if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.