Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?