Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
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Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost