Will you blow on my dice?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
