Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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