yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
