So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
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She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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