wrigley field is MILF paradise
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
