Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
