all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
