It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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