batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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