Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
