so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
