ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
