The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
