Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
