you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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