So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
