Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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