Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
