Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
