Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize