another moral hangover. fuck.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
