i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
