It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
