Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
