I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
