you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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