True but thats because hes a fetus.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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