almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.