I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales