You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.