Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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