Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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