It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
