An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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