Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize