So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
