I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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