So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
