Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
