the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
