grandma shit on top of the toilet
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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