I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
