just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
