i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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