theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
