Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
