I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
